Rock 'n' Ruling Australia

When living in Oz for a certain amount of time there are a number of rules which are mandatory - at least they make life easier and much more enjoyable.


Rule #1 Relax

Honestly, Australia is the country with the highest number of dangerous animals. Look at Tasmania, three kinds of snakes live here and every single one of them is suited with highly poisonous venom. The tiniest amount of it in your blood system will kill you most certainly, you're only chance is to seek medical help as quickly as possible and trying to stop the blood flow (have fun getting anywhere when your signal dies as soon as you turn the corner). Winds here can get so strong that they could either blow you away or a thick branch into your face and temperatures rise so high that fighting dehydration becomes a tedious war. The ozone hole laughs at you form above and the currents in the water might sweep you away and have you drown. The Tasmanian devil could crunch your bones and while driving at night you risk the chance of racing into a wombat and maybe never being able to inspect its dead body.
Yeah, they all are possibilities and there are so many more but if your life is a mine field to you you might as well have joined the army, they need you. Snakes in Tas are really shy and you only really have to be careful in February when they are looking for water and a mate. Even then the chance you will be attacked by one is rather low unless you are an idiot and annoy them. Inform yourself about the avoidance and defense of dangerous animals and keep a general distance from wildlife to be on the safe side. Explore on human made walking tracks and don't wander off into the bush, where you can't even see your own feet anymore. As long as you pocket an average amount of common sense you should be safe from animal hazards.
When a heat wave takes over your city lay low and stay in air conditioned surroundings to avoid a heat stroke. Consume a lot of water and be advised to drink warm liquids although I totally understand if you can't deal with that. If you are really bad at handling the heat (I certainly am) don't go to Queensland in summer. Adelaide gets pretty unpleasant as well (hottest city in the world just a few days ago) and relax in Melbourne or Tasmania. After a few days in the heat 35 degrees will feel like a breeze to you. Concerning the ozone hole it's not even above Australia but above Antarctica. Fair enough Tasmania is considerably close to the Ozone hole and Australian's have pretty bad skin but they live here all their life and still don't drop dead by the age they turn 40. I, you, visitors, are only here for a short period of time. You won't get cancer from one sunburn. Your skin will annoy you though with all its peeling so you are sure to put on sunscreen in critical situations anyway.
If it's a great day and no one is in the water there is probably a reason for it, so bathe your feet but otherwise just chill on the sand. Don't drive above eighty to assure you have enough reaction time to slow down and I have so far only seen one tiny Tassie devil which was yesterday driving from Zeehan to Strahan at night. I didn't see any other animals. Or cars for that matter.
You see, it is possible to make things sound so much worse than they are. If you want to survive Australia the key is to relax. Otherwise you will go completely mental and never be able to enjoy anything. It's good practice here.
Oh, one more thing which I need to work on too: Don't fuss about your weight. I have not met anyone yet who came here and did not gain weight. It's just a different way of eating and a different way of living. Certainly you will lose the weight again when you come back, but in Australia you should enjoy and not worry about a diet the whole time. (Don't eat like a pig, but even if you don't you body mass will not stay the same.)

Rule #2 Be positive

By that I actually don't mean the typical look at the bright side of things. I mean don't look at the bad side of things. Have a look at all these post box photos for example. Manu, Robin and I took a trip along one Tasmanian road up north and stopped at every funky post box we saw. It's like a competition up there and some of them are hellish creepy. This is what I tell you, which makes it sound cool and fun. I don't tell you my whole body was sore that day, I got sick from driving around and that the wind almost send us down the hill.
Yes, life here can be hard. I often feel lonely and have headaches more than ever in my life. There are always ups and downs. If I just tell you the good stuff though, you enjoy reading about my adventures more. You feel like I am having one hell of a great life here with no worries and it makes you happy to read these things. And it makes me happy, too. If I don't talk about the negative things of certain moments and their draw backs I don't think about them and at some point, maybe next months, maybe in a few years, forget them. What stays are the memories and fun photos. It is also very funny to turn an absolutely sh*ty experience into something other people envy, although you yourself didn't actually enjoy it. Just when you make people believe it was great you make yourself believe and hey, in the end it was just the way you told anyone and you didn't slip into the mud and rip your dress (this didn't actually happen. I made it up. Honestly.)

Rule #3 The one rule

Don't make plans. Things always just happen the way they want. The most coolest things you don't plan on. Look at the Hobbit. The movie, book, audiobook is called "The Hobbit - And unexpected Journey". Not "The Hobbit - when are those dwarfs finally wrecking my home so I can live a little?" Spontaneity is the key word. If you have plans and something fun rolls your way, just throw them out the window and hop on. That way you will have the most fun, make the most exciting experiences and have adventures! After all, you can't really call something an adventure that happened moment for moment the way you laid it out for yourself.
An example: My plan was to see Tasmania with Manu, visit Robin, visit Nadja for a weekend, fly back, spend a few days in Melbourne to film with William and then fly to Brisbane to volunteer on a polo horse farm with the French girl Blandine and to then find a job in Queensland.
Instead of spending Saturday and Sunday in Strahan we arrived on Thursday and stayed until Monday. As you know I kind of fell in love with this sleepy town that apparently has nothing to offer. The reason we stayed another day was because I had submitted an application online to work for the Strahan village. The manager Susanne doesn't work on the weekend though so I wanted to introduce myself in person the next day. You cannot imagine my disappointment when I wasn't able to make an appointment with her at the reception but instead was told over the phone, that all positions were full. Really? Because everyone else seems to say they are understaffed, just like Monty who is stealing some free Wifi from the reception. He and his girlfriend Danielle are from California and she was just in Susanne's office being assigned her jobs. Lucky her, unlucky me. Just before we left I decided to screw the appointment and still walk into Susanne's office so she would at least see me. To my surprise she was much nicer than I expected and asked me to sit down. Still she had to tell me, that all positions were filled and that she had covered the others with Danielle. How crushing.
I did have to leave Strahan and Nadja, who was passionate in finding me a job still. The car ride towards Sheffield was quiet and sad for me until my phone rang and interrupted my new collection of songs playing (again, just go and listen to Rude already). It was Kate from the Federal Group saying I could maybe work at Hamer's and that I needed to fill out a Health Questionnaire. Gone are all the blues! Later I got a call from Susanne checking about the Questionnaire which I had just sent back. She said I was going to work at the View. Due to that confusion I didn't tell anyone yet what was happening, though I did decide to simply fly back to Tas anyway and fight for a job down here. So I did fly out to Melbourne spent a few depressingly hot days with Halia, Chris and the kids which was still fun. (One night we went to an open air production of Midsummernight's dream, which was absolutely funny and magical.) Then on thursday I rushed back to the airport, had another one hour flight to Launceston, was picked up by Robin and drove back down here with him the next day.
At the moment I am waiting for my contract as I got yet another call telling me, I would work at the view commencing on the 28th. In case you don't remember it is the rather nice restaurant that James from Texas works at. There you go. I screwed all my other plans (who wants to work in that heat in QLD anyway) and booked a flight back on the chance of getting a job. And I am getting a job in a great environment with people I already like.
So if you decide to not take the days as they come and make plans, just be prepared to throw them over and walk into another direction. I am excited I went back to Melbourne to find a huge package of Printen waiting for me which I could share with everyone and to get back my suitcase. Living on three outfits for about two weeks is sooo hard.

Rule #4

Feel free to use these rules in any country and situation of life and always remember to look right first, when crossing the street.


Skipper