Think lovely Thoughts

Two weeks from today I will be leaving Strahan to fly north. To do some traveling before I go back home. To be quite honest I am not ready yet to go home or to travel. My time in Strahan has been to short, I haven't reached the point at which I miss home so much that I want to leave. I am happy here, content. There is nothing I miss (except my sweet family). I love my work and the people I work with. It often enough doesn't even feel like work. If I hadn't booked all my flights I would stay until my visa expires. And then when Strahan falls into winter and every night becomes a TV night and barely any guests appear on your restaurant's doorstep anymore, then it would be easier to leave this home behind. But at the moment I am terrified at the thought of saying good bye again. Why do I do this to my self, over and over again? The outlook on traveling for four weeks does not thrill me at all at the moment. I will be alone and I am not a good alone person. I like to share with people. All my good memories are friends and family memories, not on my own memories. If any of you feel the urge to come join me in South East Asia all I have to say is: YES! Get your bum over here.
I feel lost at the sight of going... home. Rarely any of my friends will be there. I won't be going to school anymore. Aren't the things and people at a place what makes it your home? I feel like I will be useless without drive or direction except the need to travel again and to see and explore more. I am so spoilt with my job at View that I am scared other jobs which are less ideal will not contribute to my okayness.
To remind myself that until a few months ago I was terrifically excited to return I wanted to, for my sake, list things that will await me. Things I want to do.

- See my family and visit my sisters. Visit Jenny in her new FLAT!! wooot woot!
- attend Tim's graduation and go party with my now adult brother o.O :O
- make my now driver brother chauffeur me around and fight with him over the car
- eat self made dinners until I drop (good bye ever same buffet food)
- eat Oma's curry, and cake, and vegetarian thingies, and all her food
- film, film, film! Let's start a project!!!
- on that note, a lot of dashes here should be : sing with Eva, film with Eva, record with Eva, bake with Eva, talk with EVA, dance WITH EVA, LOVE LIFE WITH EVA!!!!! :O but no, by the looks of it not even she will be there. Oh wait. Lovely thoughts. REWIND!
- sing and learn some songs on the piano
- take singing lessons again!
- maybe ballet again?
- go out to eat with the choice of more than two restaurants and a not empty wallet!
- try and find Rekordelig cider in Germany. It's sooo yumm!!!
- having to pay less than 15 dollars for a cocktail
- escape the yucky weather of a fall without golden leaves
- Just Dance myself fit again (sorry, hip bacon, I lied. We are not friends.)
- cuddle my niece
- cudddllllllleeee my nieeeecceeee!
- bake a sick (that means over the top amazing) cake with my sister
- go to Verena's wedding!
- take Lucia to the zoo :)
- go on holidays with Tim and Jan and Benoit!
- eat less Chocolate. Or more good chocolate
- have a full closet again but also very possibly throw half of it away. It's hard but... I guess I probably possibly maybe don't need just quite all of what's in there.
- drag my little brother to come back to Autralia with me. Where is my second year visa? #IAmAnIdiot
- sit with my parents while watching shit Tv shows.
- visit EVERYONE! Freya, Jenny, Lissy, Eva (if she dares to leave -.-), Astrid and Miriam, Hadia and so on and forth
- force everyone who hasn't seen frozen to watch until there every second sentence is" DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN?"
- I want winter! A real one.
- eat spaghetti ice cream
- eat good sushi
- go to a really good party and dance through the night
- hopefully apply my new learnt skills like cleaning, not caring about my looks, caring less about dick head people's stupid need to gossip and fill their mouth's with filth because their life sucks (really, talking badly about other people has become a thing I avoid more than anything and I hate it when people just can't shut up about other people.)
- teach my niece singing and film her as much as Opa filmed me
- make her watch DISNEY! in english. Honsetly. It needs to be in english.
- just hug every single person I love so much for minutes and forever because I am so deprived of hugs :)

I am sure there is more. But I am really hungry now :D Let's hope the kitchen will supply me with more than chocolate. Although chocolate isn't bad either.

See you in not very long!
Skipper