The Future Thing

"So what do you want to study?", Zoey asked after telling me she's in her third year of medicine. Before I can answer I hear a laugh from Jono, who is rubbing the chicken.
"Aah, we just had that conversation, didn't we? She doesn't know."
"But I do have a goal!" There it is, my Ace.
"Yeah, you have goals but you don't know what you want to do."
"No, I do know. I have a goal now, because you inspired me."
"Really!? I tend to do that though, inspire people." His look of surprise turns pretty smug. I punch him on his big arm and laugh.
"That's why you made me feel so small. It should have been the other way around."

Wait, how did I even get here and what are we talking about?
Let me go back into the past a bit to enlighten this part of the future.

Thursday last week was my absolute horror day. Worst day so far. Rockets pretty high on the scale of 'This is sh*t". The morning was quite alright looking at my little skype conference with Nate which presented me with glorious future moments: The planned USA road trip three years from now with my American soul mate best friend awesomest man in the world (always coming after my Dad of course :P). Since we feel the need to travel together every four years or so, the Olympics 2020 in Tokyo are on the list as well. Yiha! Life will be good. No worries, Papa, I am planning on saving money.
Looking at having to leave for Florian's (Ryan's) birthday trip down south I had to do some grocery shopping. As I was steering the car into the underground car park, however, an anxiety something attack got a hold of me. Huge car, tiny car park, too many cars. I was a mess at Farmer Jack's. Must have looked like a little Bambi absolutely confused and stranded. My pounding heart wouldn't calm down and I felt overwhelmed by the foreign store. The plan of going to Coles fell flat as I was confronted with carrying all those goods and Milk and huge six pack of water back through the mall and into the car and I didn't feel like going back up there. At all.
Unfortunately I didn't start feeling better but worse! Lightheadedness, stinging tummy ache, horrible headache. At one point I just lay in my bed, after I was done with making dinner for later and setting up afternoon tea. Kirsteie checked up on me and I said I would be out in ten minutes, but couldn't stand up for 30. An angel as she is, she didn't mind at all.

The stir fry we made for dinner I had been excited for for a while! Even worse so then that I wasn't sure, if I wanted to or could eat it. Do you know this feeling when you just feel like opening your mouth and swallowing a sip of water is too much of an effort? And this was after I had made use of Mama's supply of Aspirin. Surprisingly the "appetite came while eating!" The spiciness of the dish seemed to help burn away the dizziness at least. After that and after washing up I still felt so worn out. It was only seven so going to bed appeared like a waste. What I really wanted was to get rid of this drowning feeling, to do something, to see someone!!!
There was no choice, but to turn to my last option. Ash. He, however, was on the way to pick up his girlfriend from the air port, but why don't I ask Jono? This is his number. Oh great! I didn't even hesitate to send that second text. Short version of our conversation:
"Walk or tea?"
"Sure, Saturday or Sunday?"
"I meant now."
"Can't be long because of exam tomorrow. Melvista oval?"
- 'Brett, where is the Melvista oval?' - 'Where you walk the dog.' - 'Oh cool, can I take the car there?' - 'What for?' - 'Meeting Jono.' - 'Sure.'
"There in seven."

I got ready quickly and popped my head into their bedroom to say I was off.
"Do you feel well enough?", Kirstie asked concerned.
"I feel much better than before and just feel like the air will be good."
"It's a bit dodgy you know.", Brett said. "Girls have been murdered up there."
"There are houses. And I can run fast. And have my phone."
"Do you trust him?"
"Yes. I was probably more in danger when I went to his house than now." I smiled to reassure them I will be fine. Then I headed out.

Jono didn't seem as tall as I remembered but when I mentioned that, he laughed and said "I am six three man and you are a like a dwarf."
Oh, oh thanks. It's like when he said "You are not tan." Because I am! Go away Jono.
To recap the conversation I had with Jono is impossible. He did try to win me over for rap music.
"It's so personal! You get a message across much easier and can convey emotion so effectively!"
To me that just sounded like normal music, but the way he lovingly spoke about rap music just made me grin and be excited to wait for his try to add to my music taste.
"You have six weeks to open my eyes.", I presented the challenge.
"Oh, girl, I will need one week... I will need one day!" There he is, Jono, so convinced of himself :D
After that we spoke about my future and me not knowing what to do. Thing is, I can't really tell you what he said although I remember the important passages word by word.
He shot the words at me, dynamically, inspiringly, giving me the most glorious moonlight pep talk of my life. I should have filmed it, because it was the perfect commercial. Nobody could have walked away from that and not been singing in the car. Or maybe that's just me.
My tummy ache was still there, but at least I felt so much clearer in my head and in such a much much better mood!
I had only been gone for one and a half hours and Kirstie and Brett were still awake.
"Your parents couldn't sleep.", Brett said and I was confused. What did my parents have to do with this, until I realized he was making a joke and meant himself.
"We are practicing for later.", he laughed and wished me a good night.

This friday, when I asked Jono if he was free this weekend.
"Dinner at mine tonight at 7/7:30?" came his reply at 5:30.
My head goes 'Are you crazy I haven't showered, have nothing to bring, am making dinner for the kids :o' but I write "Sure no probs :)"
Oh, oh, oh. I don't have tiiiime!
But then Brett came to help Kirstie pack and the kids were having their pizza and movie night. I didn't eat because I was invited.
"So you have something special tonight?", Brett asks with a weird tone in his voice. Implying something.
"Umm, what?" This makes him break out in a big smile.
"Kirstie told me."
"Oh, yeah. I am invited for dinner again." Sometimes I just don't understand him.

So: Shower! oooh, feeels good after working all day. I hate having to clean because I feel so horribly gross afterwards. Getting dressed! Kabämm, I already know what I want to wear so no issue there. Blowdrying hair! You know what, screw this! My hair never does what it's supposed to anyways. Not. worth. the. effort. Makeup! Hmmm, am I wearing glasses or no glasses? Ah, can't be bothered putting in lenses. Uh! I forgot putting on tights. And then it's already time for the Walkers to leave. They went to the beach house this weekend and since my upcoming three weeks are going to be really stressful (Brett's going to Italy -> no help taking care of kids. Two weeks holidays -> No break from kids.) they suggested I stay here with Lizzylu :)

As soon as I had grabbed a bag of chips I was out the door and in the bus, taking me to Christchurch Grammar School once more. Upon arrival I took my phone to turn off the music and see a text from Jono.
"We are at 103 Tyrell St across the oval." Are. You. Kidding Me. Come ON!
So back on the other side of Stirling Hwy and starting to run to catch that timely bus.
"You don't have to run. Just hail your hand.", the Indian bus driver laughs at me.
"Can you take me to the Nedlands library?"
"Yes, 2,80."
"Umm, I paid 2 Dollars coming here."
"Really?" Confused he looks at his screen as I search for money in my purse. There is a dollar, but I don't know if the other change will do.
"Ah, just sit down. Is ok." Oh, thanks! No pay for bus for the second time :) Neat.

So I get out at Webster St. (If you want just have a look at the map I presented you with in a previous post. Where the oval is I walk the dog at, there also is the Lau's family home. Right across from it.) Now I have to walk for 15 minutes or so. A random song plays on my cell and I have to laugh and want to dance. But my purse and the bag of snacks in my hand keep me from it. I sadly also forgot my camera so I can't take a video.
103 Tyrell St. Me is here.

Triet, his girlfriend EJ, Joey and of course Jono are there, plus Zoey, the medicine student. The kitchen is a battle field and I am told we are having pizza. And a whole chicken. And corn. And dessert.
It doesn't sound like much, but you don't know how much! The first pizza goes in the pizza oven (like a real pizza oven!) and Jono makes a veggie half on the second one. He already looks so professional making the pizza. Rolling the dough, whirling it around in his hands. Then putting onion, capsicum (paprika), cheese, cheese on one half and ham and chorizo sausage and cheese on the other. And then the first pizza came out and looked incredible! Fluffy and amazing and gah. And I grew so hungry.
When my half pizza was finally done I got to eat the best pizza of my life! Just absolutely delicious.
The third pizza was covered in shrimp and as soon as Jono found out I eat them ("You eat fish? Even better so!) he threw the whole packet of shrimp on there, sprinkled them with chili flakes and loads and loads of cheese.
The fourth pizza became the leftover pizza. Everything left went on there including four different types of meat, so this one was not for me. Luckily because I was already somewhat full after that half pizza and a piece of shrimp pizza (we left most of that for Ash until he finally appeared from the shower). The others how ever were on the certain road to a food coma :D Having shared 3 and a half pizza, a whole chicken and corn with six people (I am not counting myself in here) they all seemed pretty exhausted from eating. But we weren't done yet, because our dessert, the last pizza, was pulled from the oven! Chocolate sauce, strawberries and nuts pizza served with ice cream. I sure have room for that ;)

So much for the food. After that we played Avalon again and each round I got the same card I had already gotten last time. I am just the most Loyal Servant of Arthur (equivalent to the role of a Bürger in Werwölfe). The last round we played a miracle happened: From Loyal Servant to Queen Bitch, I was now Morgana. Having been a constant good person (Joey: Shirin, are you bad? Naaah, you are always good!), of course I absolutely screwed up on being the bad guy. :D But it was still fun.
Ash drove me home after a long conversation about mistakes in Harry Potter and other books we like/used to like, while Jono played Kingdom Hearts and tried to explain what it's about.

The whole time I have been here, I have started to think more and more about the dreaded future. Weighing out possibilities and options and asking people, like Kirstie, about their experiences. But the weekend after I spoke to Jono I made a decision (also, after having a reassuring conversation with Papa and Nadine): I will teach myself about photography and try to practice as much as I can. I will intern with different photographers, to get an idea of wether this is for me and which field of photography to specialize on, if I will do it at all. So that's what I am up to now. Reading books from the library, getting expert tips from Professor Nickolas Tilling and at the same time jamming on the guitar to maintain my rock and roll.

"Cool, cool!", was Jono's reaction to my decision (of course while taking all the credit for it ;) )

It feels good to at least have a loose direction to head into. To not feel without orientation anymore, even though this is possibly not what I will actually do later. So I will get back to my books now and listen to the rain, before the family comes back with loud kids ;)

Love,

Flipper